we're blogging at a bar
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
