He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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