jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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