Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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