Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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