she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
