i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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