i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish you could order shots online.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Semen is not good for contacts.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
