? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Terrible idea I love it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
