? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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