if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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