Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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