i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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