Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
