I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
