Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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