i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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