So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
