Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
