so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
