So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
