ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if only i could text you this smell
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
