is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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