The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We left the knife in your bed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
