Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
