Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
