Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
