He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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