do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
