Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
