never play flip cup with pint glasses
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Someone came in the potted fern
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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