dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
