yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
