And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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