do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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