she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
