I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
