STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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