When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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