Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
