just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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