That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
