im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
