Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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