i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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