He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
