you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
