My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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