Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
