It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
