C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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