can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
