So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize