Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
