Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
When are your genitals available?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
