She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
