I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
