Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
