He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
