Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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