Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.

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(917): View more from New York City

I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.

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(317): View more from Indiana

idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break

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(770): View more from Georgia

It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.

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(314): View more from Missouri

When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..

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(707): View more from California

I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My vibrator broke.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?

(303): View more from Colorado

Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.

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