i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
