I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
barbara walters just said penis...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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