I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize