You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
