i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize