Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
