We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
