her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Text me some of your sweat
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
