i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
