yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
