i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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